Monday, September 21, 2009

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)

“You bleed!!! They feed!!!”

“Massive Blood Sucking Monsters!!!”

Usually remakes—are pretty tacky
And what can be more—sick and tacky
Then a bunch of slimy blood-sucking
Ugly starved Giant Leeches—yukkkkk!!!

But with disgusting creepy Giant Leeches—
How can even remakes turn out less than
Totally disgusting—maybe even better than
The original American International classic?

The difference being that the 2009 version—
Is much more louche, lurid and phallic!!!
With Giant Leeches so exquisitely grotesque
That theaters get packed with Size Queens!!!

The ho-hum 1959 Giant Leeches are laughable
With guys dressed up in slippery rubber suits
With monstrous bug-eyed rubbery lips busy
At work sucking succulent Yvette Vickers!!!

Yvette luxuriates in their underwater lair—
Seemingly turned on by the starved sucking
Horrible swamp-bred Giant Leeches leaving
Shameless bruises all over her svelte body

Yes, even—especially in the most intimate
Erotic places—her lovely erect nipples and
Blushing amorous body—finding the forbidden
Love she craved—denied by Bruno VeSota

Bruno VeSota is big, fat and ugly—
Like Nestor Paiva playing Captain Lucas
The laughing sweaty slob of the classic
Monster of the Black Lagoon (1954)

His wife Yvette Vickers—is such a Slut
Putting out for Slim, Lem and all the other
White trash hanging around—even gets it
On with giant mucous-mouthed Leeches!!!

Horror movies come & go—like Ape (1976)
Aka Attack of the Giant Horny Gorilla and
Attack of the Giant Hand Monster (2005)
And Attack of the Virgin Mummies (2004)

But Attack of the Giant Leeches, well—
There’s something about lamprey-like lips
Sucking the love-juice and life-blood outta
Living human bodies that’s pretty creepy

You’d think the flick—was filmed way down
South in the swamps and bayous of Florida
But actually the filming location was the
LA County Arboretum and Botanic Garden

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