Plan 9 From Outer Space (1956)
Some days—start off bad
And they—just get worse & worse
Like a really bad—Ed Wood Jr. movie
Things start out okay—even perfect
Like Orson Welles—and Kane
Perfectly in control—every facet
But then—things collapse
The whole day’s filming—crashes
How to salvage—one’s life from wreckage?
Life as—motion picture technique
A textbook demonstration—of failure
How autobiography—becomes camp
One sad scene—Bela Lugosi
Standing outside—his dumpy home
Yet still there’s this—campy nostalgia
Probably because—Bela’s soon dead
Sticking Eddie with—a couple of scenes
How to salvage them—into a movie?
That’s how Plan9—turns ‘50s camp
A space-alien story—zombie sci-fi flick
Night of the Living—Hollywood Dead
Wood’s new script—beyond the beyond
Beginning with—ludicrous flying saucers
Dangling in space—pie-plates from wires
Hit the “rewind” button—again & again
Police car with tail-fins—leave crime scenes
But no tail-fins—when they arrive
Military commanders—cast shadows
Across the so-called—blue sky above
Tacky cinematography—out of control
Pentagon offices—change overnight
Santa Fe Railroad—tourist maps
Come and go—on the dreary walls
Ed Woods Jr.—the story of my life
Mix of professional—semiprofessional
Amateur & non-existent—schmaltz
How to ad lib—and improvise
The worst script—and film possible
With a little gay—impromptu class?
Tor Johnson—from Bride of the Monster
Playing the mute brute—Lobo my love
If only he would keep—his mouth shut!!!
Lyle Talbot—never turning down a role
A reliable character actor—from Jailbait
Steve Reeves hot stuff—just ask Lyle
Western star—and drinking buddy
Tom Keene—rumored to be Hollywood’s
Most well-endowed—Grade-B actor
Grisly Criswell—bow-tied Mystic
La La Land’s favorite—narrating the
Story as it unfolds—or rather unravels
Vampira—friend of moody James Dean
Supreme television—Horror-Film Hostess
Glides through The Darkness—as usual
John Breckinridge—the Alien Leader
Swishes around—flaunting her Plan 9
Dudley Manlove—hammy lieutenant
And of course—dead Bela Lugosi
Billed as “Ghoul Man”—in the credits
His role left over—from original movie
What to do with Bela—dead of course
Deader than usual—deader than Dracula
What to do with—miscellaneous footage?
Wood needed Bela—even when dead
To complete his—aborted vampire epic
Using a double—cape covering face
Like me—Ed Woods had shortcomings
Teen exploitation—and drive-in flicks
Movies like—Plan 9 From Outer Space
Some days—start off bad
And they—just get worse & worse
Like a really bad—Ed Wood Jr. movie
Things start out okay—even perfect
Like Orson Welles—and Kane
Perfectly in control—every facet
But then—things collapse
The whole day’s filming—crashes
How to salvage—one’s life from wreckage?
Life as—motion picture technique
A textbook demonstration—of failure
How autobiography—becomes camp
One sad scene—Bela Lugosi
Standing outside—his dumpy home
Yet still there’s this—campy nostalgia
Probably because—Bela’s soon dead
Sticking Eddie with—a couple of scenes
How to salvage them—into a movie?
That’s how Plan9—turns ‘50s camp
A space-alien story—zombie sci-fi flick
Night of the Living—Hollywood Dead
Wood’s new script—beyond the beyond
Beginning with—ludicrous flying saucers
Dangling in space—pie-plates from wires
Hit the “rewind” button—again & again
Police car with tail-fins—leave crime scenes
But no tail-fins—when they arrive
Military commanders—cast shadows
Across the so-called—blue sky above
Tacky cinematography—out of control
Pentagon offices—change overnight
Santa Fe Railroad—tourist maps
Come and go—on the dreary walls
Ed Woods Jr.—the story of my life
Mix of professional—semiprofessional
Amateur & non-existent—schmaltz
How to ad lib—and improvise
The worst script—and film possible
With a little gay—impromptu class?
Tor Johnson—from Bride of the Monster
Playing the mute brute—Lobo my love
If only he would keep—his mouth shut!!!
Lyle Talbot—never turning down a role
A reliable character actor—from Jailbait
Steve Reeves hot stuff—just ask Lyle
Western star—and drinking buddy
Tom Keene—rumored to be Hollywood’s
Most well-endowed—Grade-B actor
Grisly Criswell—bow-tied Mystic
La La Land’s favorite—narrating the
Story as it unfolds—or rather unravels
Vampira—friend of moody James Dean
Supreme television—Horror-Film Hostess
Glides through The Darkness—as usual
John Breckinridge—the Alien Leader
Swishes around—flaunting her Plan 9
Dudley Manlove—hammy lieutenant
And of course—dead Bela Lugosi
Billed as “Ghoul Man”—in the credits
His role left over—from original movie
What to do with Bela—dead of course
Deader than usual—deader than Dracula
What to do with—miscellaneous footage?
Wood needed Bela—even when dead
To complete his—aborted vampire epic
Using a double—cape covering face
Like me—Ed Woods had shortcomings
Teen exploitation—and drive-in flicks
Movies like—Plan 9 From Outer Space
