Rock N Roll Dracula

New York Times Movie Review 

Writer/director Bram Stoker—
Updates her vampire movie with 
Simply shocking faggotry, my dears

A new low in bad gay taste—
In this low-budget schlock horror 
Queer comedy ROCK 'N' ROLL DRACULA

The Old Queen at the Movies—
Has grown tired of reviewing the same
Old typical classic Hollywood schlock films

So she enlists the help of her rather—
Necrophiliac Castro Theater nephew who
Helps create a new campy vampire flick

The drug-addicted dizzy assistant Igor—
Starts grave-robbing assorted body parts 
From various Hollywood cemeteries

Suddenly Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter and—
Divine look-alike queens begin appearing
As Castro District aging vampire queens

These creatures of the living dead begin—
A cocksucking campaign against all the 
Rich new Silicon Valley gentrification queens

Who’ve been turning the Castro into nothing—
But a ritzy wealthy haunt for nouveau riche 
Tacky condo dwellers and flakey fucking str8ts

Panic spreads rather quickly throughout—
The famous Baghdad by the Bay metropolis
Simply shocked by all the Gay Vampires 

I mean after all, my dears, it was certainly—
Bad enough with all the cocksuckers around but
For heaven’s sakes Queer Bloodsuckers too???

Title: Rock 'N' Roll Vampires
Running Time: 69 Minutes
Country: USA
Genre: Gay Horror Comedy, Fag Creature Film

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