The Crawford

Despising Mommy Dearest

“Mildred, I think I’m really
seeing you for the first time
in my life, and you’re cheap
and horrible.”—Veda in
Mildred Pierce

I stood there staring at Mommy Dearest—clutched in the muscular, traitor-esque arms of my ex-boyfriend loverboy who had so uncouthly betrayed me.

But it was Mommy Dearest who’d betrayed me worst of all—and now I simply hated them both!!!

“You can have my chicken boyfriend and your chicken pot pies and everything that smells of K-Y!!!”

Mildred [with a slight gasp]: “Veda!!!”

I sneered at them both in bed—“I can’t wait to get away from this shack with its cheap furniture, and this crummy town with its cheap women like you and greasy ducktail Elvis the Pelvis mongoloids like him!”

Mildred [with another slight gasp]: “Veda!!!”

“You think just because you’ve got enough money for a quickie face-lift, a new hairdo and some expensive clothes that you can turn yourself into a sexy seductive Hollywood movie star? Hardly, my dear!!!”

Mildred [with a death-rattle gasp]: “Veda!!!”

“But you can’t. Because you’ll never be anything but a common frump who stole my boyfriend!!!” 

And with that I ran away from home—with all of its extreme abjection and degrading humiliation. If people only knew what a girl has to go through—all that horror and tragedy of normal family life!!!

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