The Crawford

Sneaky Mommy Dearest

“Get out, Veda. Get your
things out of this house
right now before I throw
them into the street and
you with them. Get out
before I kill you!!!”
—Joan Crawford in
Mildred Pierce

I can still hear the note of pleasure in my ex-boyfriend’s voice as he said so bitchily, in his best Joan Crawford accent, “That’s right honey. Get the fuck outta here right now.”

I was shocked—simply shocked!!! My bitchy Mommy Dearest had absconded with my latest boyfriend—one of the hottest things I’d ever got my lips on.

But behind my back—sneaky Mommy Dearest got him into bed and squeezed every squirt and runny droplet outta the poor kid. It was just awful…

And then when he looked over his shoulder at me—when I opened Mommy Dearest’s bedroom door and found him fucking her silly—that was simply the End of Everything!!!

My handsome so-called boyfriend sneered at me and ever so hauntingly said: “Your sexy Mommy Dearest is twice the woman you are, faggot. And three times the woman I ever got outta you!!!” 

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