Failed Emporia Kansas Travelogue

Failed Emporia Kansas Travelogue

And I do mean Failure—
Total complete unadulterated
Exquisitely kitschy FAILURE!!!

The bored driver takes us—
On a yawning, farting, smirking
Tour of the crummy little Cowtown

Just the way to look at it—
No pretty Pretense or Pretending
That Emporia Kansas is Lovely

It never was & never will be—
Despite dressing it up as a nice
Little innocent quiet college town

Stuck out in the stark middle—
Of Gothic Nowhere, plopped
Down like a sad old Cow Patty…

KA-SPLAT!!!! Watch out—
Where you step around here
You’ll get shit on your high-heels!!!

Calling Emporia grandiosely—
The Athens of the Midwest like
They used to way back when

When KSTC and C of E both—
Ruled the Chicken Coop and
Were Bastions of Enlightment!!!

Taking a hard left at the End of—
Dumpy Commercial Street with
All its close-out sales Businesses

Driving west under the fall leaves—
Past Maplewood Cemetery and
Beyond the drab Shopping Mall

Past Wal-Mart and KFC joints—
Acres of blacktop parking spaces
With a nice fond wave Goodbye!!!

Jeeze Lueez!!! That was a great—
Travelogue to see, maybe I’ll have
A beer and watch it ALL again!!!

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