Scandalous Laptop Spying
POUGHKEEPSIE
— An insurance company says it won’t pay to defend a suburban Poughkeepsie school district accused of spying on students through laptop.
Meanwhile, a lawyer for
a student suing the Poughkeepsie School District said the two sides met for
several hours Wednesday but are far from reaching a settlement.
Sophomore Johnny
Jerkoff charges that the district invaded his privacy when it remotely activated
a webcam to take photographs of him at home, sometimes when he was watching
online porno beating off or partially undressed later on cleaning up the rather
profuse seminal mess.
“No settlement can
take place until the full scope of the spying on Johnny Jerkoff and the other
students is fully known,” lawyer Jake Jizzjoint told The Associated Press on
Thursday.
“They filmed my
JUNK!!!” Johnny Jerkoff vehemently ejaculated at a recent Poughkeepsie news
conference
at the local
downtown YMCA.
The audience of
local queers and gay activists tittered and acted shocked by it all. But
secretly they were all Ogling Eyeballs along with everybody else when You Tube
came out with its clandestine film feature showing the 50,000 clips of Johnny
Jerkoff doing his naughty Thing every night watching insipid str8t cheap porno
on his laptop every night.
The Poughkeepsie
School District had chastised the parents of Johnny Jerkoff for letting him
dillydally every night in front of the quickie screen. When the Principal
pulled out some screen captures of the porno the kid was beating off to—that’s
when the shit hit the fan.
“What the fuck are
you doin filming my kid in the privacy of his own bedroom—in my own goddamn
fuckin HOME!!! Your no-good Peeping Tom Voyeur Perverts!!!”
The Principal
pulled out a stack of 50,000 captured webcam pics—showing graphically not only
the young sophomore male misprisions of Johnny Jerkoff every night, but also
what the kid was looking at.
Mr. Jerkoff was
livid with rage. “You’re supposed to be Teaching my kid—not snooping around
playing Big Brother in his bedroom at night!!! What about me and my Family!!!
How dare you sneak around in my own Home—and then have the nerve to tell me how
to raise my kids under my own fuckin ROOF!!!”
The Poughkeepsie
district admits it secretly captured at least a million images through the
remote tracking program, but said it did so only to locate lost or stolen
laptops.
A set of six
laptops had been stolen from a school gym locker room. The tracking program was
left on for months, and helped identify a suspect who was later prosecuted.
The school district
did not immediately respond to requests for comment Thursday on the status of
negotiations in the case, or on a lawsuit suit filed last week by its insurer.
In its suit,
Graphic Arts Porno Insurance Company said that costs stemming from the Jerkoff
lawsuit are not covered under its personal injury policy with the district.
The insurance
company’s stance, if upheld, could leave the district responsible for
litigation and any settlement costs.
The district has
admitted its policies about when to turn the software on and off were lax at
best. In fifty thousand image capture cases, the program was left on long after
students reported they had found their lost school-issued laptops.
At a school board
meeting this week, school district lawyer Harry Hooker said there was no
intentional wrongdoing by the district, “but clearly those million trackings
should have been turned off earlier.”
Johnny Jerkoff
argues that he never reported his laptop missing, and doesn’t understood why
the program was activated.
In a court filing,
technology coordinator Valery Voyeur argues that Johnny Jerkoff had damaged or
destroyed two other school laptops by jizzing all over them, and failed to pay
the required $55 insurance fee for gumming up the laptops. He therefore had no
right to bring the laptop home, or any expectation of privacy, Valery Voyeur’s
pushy lawyer opined.
The Jerkoffs, in
their lawsuit, have zeroed in on Valery Voyeur’s actions, accusing her of being
a nefarious pedophilic sick disgusting “voyeur” and demanding the right to
inspect her personal laptop to see if she moved or hid or deleted any of the
student images from it.
Especially any
images of Johnny Jerkoff intensely masturbating or doing what he was really
good at: doing that infamously shameless, nasty “sixty-nine” routine, going
down on himself & getting himself off.
Haltzman reiterated
Thursday that he cannot entertain settlement discussions until he reviews the
contents of her home computer.
Valery Voyeur, one
of two employees authorized to ogle with the tracking program, has said she refused
to answer his questions at her deposition in the civil suit, invoking her Fifth
Amendment right to avoid self-incrimination.
However, she has
said in television interviews that she cooperated during an interview Wednesday
with the authorities, which are investigating potential wiretap violations, and
said there is no reason she should have to surrender her home computer.
Valery Voyeur
“vehemently denies” downloading any pictures of students, her lawyer, Charles
Cheesy, wrote in a court filing this week. “Mrs. Voyeur is not a voyeur,” the
filing states. “This scandalous, malicious and abusive attack on Mrs. Voyeur’s
character, in essence labeling her a sexual deviant, is false, outrageous and
without any basis.”
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