A Nice Piece of Ass


“A young man asked a
father for the daughter’s
hand, and received it
in a box – her left hand”
—Patricia Highsmith
“The Hand,” Little Tales
of Misogyny 

I made the mistake of asking a young
man who I presumed liked me for a 
“nice piece of his fine ass.”

Unfortunately, his girlfriend took
offense and murdered him, slicing
off a “nice piece of ass” for me

She mailed it to me FED-EX—
but unfortunately the bloody box
stunk something awful, you know?

I got arrested by the authorities—
for being an accomplice to an
awful cold-blooded murder

I got the electric chair for being—
a dirty no-good fucking faggot
in possession of a piece of ass

They strapped me into the chair—
gave me the juice, and man o man
that really like fried my pubes!!!

It just wasn’t fucking worth it—
all that voltage and the hot seat
just for a nice piece of nice ass!!!

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