the Astro-Zombies

The Astro-Zombies
"Activate the
sonic transmogriceptor!"
—John Carradine

after being fired—
from the governorship throne
of alaska state

rather disgruntled—
not to mention tres crazy
sarah palin mopes

then an “astrostud”—
born from a criminal's brain
takes over her mind

she loses control bad—
her creation goes amok
but what else is new?

the astrostud goes—
on a crazy fucking spree
attracting the lust

avid attentions—
of a thousand teabagger
blue-rinse bored ladies

fox-news soon reports—
an international mob
of horny females

the astrostud smirks—
he’s really “astro-zombie”
a disguised killer

his evil mission—
to turn the whole world into
one big used rubber

he’s got rubber lips—
he’s got otherworldly charms
he’s an android stud

his saucer lands from—
the forbidden planet of

he needs a big one—
astrostud droids need extra
strong trojan rubbers

alien males don’t—
always play it straight either
they like earthboyz too

cute levi johnston—
the lovely playgirl pin-up
he’s the first to go

great minds think alike—
astrostuds know each other

sara palin wears—
exotic earthy outfits
her cheesy appeal

her long eyelashes—
her mukluk meat-pie pussy
her erect nipples

the cold northern lights—
weave their eerie strato-glow
indian boyz shiver

palin melts igloos—
when she gets extra-horny
prayer-guards stand erect

shocking to see—
the depths wendell corey stoops
in such grade-b flicks

and john carradine—
descends even further down
too sozzled to care

the women bots scream—
trying to rip his clothes off
astro-zombie smirks

john carradine drunk—
bumbling around in his lab
endlessly the fool

opening credits—
shot over old porno films
rubberized robots

fans of ed wood jr—
old inflatable rubber
hot female sex toys

if you love bad films—
and camp it up whenever
you can then dig it

never part with your—
schlock ratty vhs flicks
or old dvd’s

horror cheese-fest love—
lasts forever and ever
on long friday nights

yes, i’m addicted—
that astro-zombie physique
black shorts, huge basket

it’s all stuffed there—
even the lewd kitchen sink
astrostud’s tight shorts

director mikels—
surely that man knew no shame
but then we don’t care

cheesy teenage boyz—
tacky exploitation flicks
weekend drive-in sex

mad scientists grope—
mute bug-eyed horny hunchbacks
sex-monsters go down

zombies, aliens—
big-breasted women screamers
brain transplant slashers
spaceships, spies, vampires—
cute naked go-go dancers
evil dragon girlz
elvis “the pelvis”—
skanky presley clones whanking
their 7-Eleven guitars

lip-synching hound dogs—
wailing at las vegas moons
cold nevada nights

stoned topless go-go—
hot day-glow body-painted
young dancers wiggling

and slithering up—
and down poles in dark moody
nightclubs casinos

full of fuckin’ creeps—
missing vampire lobbyists
ugly repug hogs

tea party bikers—
and giant tarantulas!
who can resist it?

svelte sara palin—
with her low-cut evening gown
evil smeared makeup

vampira getting laid—
amongst the cardboard tombstones
sluts from outer space

hardcore schlock weirdness—
white trash sci-fi flicks tonight
that’s my weekend oeuvre

my astro-stud date—
my matinee flick madness
cinematic cheese

astro-zombie boy—
gutter reality kid
tres cute jacques tourneur

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