Stonewall Theater of the Absurd

Stonewall Theater of the Absurd

“Hypothetically speaking: If a guy from Maine and a guy from Massachusetts who both live in New York get married in the Bay State, then where do they go to celebrate Chanukah and Christmas?”—Perley J. Thibodeau, NYTimes, 2 December 2009

Or even more absurd—isn’t it bizarre that New York state already recognizes gay marriages performed in other jurisdictions surrounding it (Canada, Vermont, Mass, Conn, NH), but New York state and the New York Senate don’t recognize gay marriages within the state of New York itself!!!

Just think of all the money New York would have made off of all those weddings. And maybe even divorces too? Hard-up New York banks, budgets, coffers—isn’t gay Mr. Green kosher? Just think of all the gay marriages—and gay matrimonial finances? Turning down the gay Three Dollar Bill—it just doesn’t make economic sense during these tight times one would think.

Yes, the old drag queens of the Stonewall Riot days—they must be writhing in their graves now. If any of them are still alive—they’re probably shaking their bewigged heads, gazing morosely at the run in their nylons, sitting somewhat disillusioned in some New York City gay bar or languishing alone in some local Wrinkly Retirement Home in dumpy depressing Poughkeepsie or down there in hot humid bankrupt Miami. Wondering to themselves—what happened?

Wondering to themselves—what happened to the 1969 gay rights movement? How can things continue to be so Republican Red State Retro—40 years later? With DOMA and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell still giving the GLBT community the Royal Shaft?

Talk about Theater of the Absurd—is it going to take 150 years like it did with African-Americans? What does “absurd” mean here—what happened to New York the epitome of East Coast cosmopolitan chic? What’s happened to New York City—the vanguard of the American gay rights movement? Where’s Miss Camus—when we need her?

What’s wrong with this picture, my dears? Have we become the pathetic victims of what Gustave Flaubert today would detest and despise the most—the Absurdity of the ratty Repug Right Wing Elephants in the Living Room, the swishy Mormon petit marquis tyrants from Utah, the dour Cardinal Spellman zombie walking dead, the born-again Baptist Bozos on self-righteous money-grabbing evangelical TV?

What happened to all the justifiable angry Drag Queens from the Stonewall Days? What’s happened to all the esteemed literary, drama, opera and artistic Bourgeoisophobes in the sleek chic big fat sophisticated Big Apple? Have we all become armchair tourists—in the realm of Tea Room Politics? Is it a time for Do-It-Again—and again and again?

How about a New Deal, honey? For the Big Apple gay moiling minions? Maybe it’s time for Manhattan to declare—its independent statehood? Certainly Queens deserves it too!!!

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