Young Frankenstein

Young Frankenstein

“Speak. I know you have
a civil tongue in your head
because I sewed it back myself.”
—Whit Bissell, Mad Scientist,
I Was A Teenage Frankenstein (1957)

I'm a teenage Frankenstein—
These lips aren’t my lips
These eyes aren’t my eyes

I'm a teenage Frankenstein
Polymorphosely perverse—
Just a transplanted tramp!!!

I’m a schlock cult icon—
Low-budget—bad make-up
Kitschy plot—silly dialogue
“Body of an adolescent!!!”
“Mind of a monster!!!”
“Soul of an unearthly thing!!!”

I'm a teenage Frankenstein—
I’ve got a new teenage face

But I ain't got nobody—
I'm the state of the art

Got a brain a la carte
Plus a mean male libido

I’m not one of the crowd—
I’m Count Frankenstein’s pet
But I can’t avoid him
Even when I run and hide—
Whit Bissell just won’t stop
He’s got the hots for me
I spend lost weekends burning

I'm a teenage Frankenstein—
A kept boy with a twisted mind

Whit Bissell is my Sugar Daddy—
But these aren’t my hands?

And these legs aren’t mine?

Professor Bissell—
And his lover Dr. Karlton
Their savage alligator pit
Beneath the house, stealing
Body parts of dead athletes
From the wreckage of a
Crashed airplane accident

I’ve got a synthetic face—
Lots of scars and a brace

My hands are smooth and sneaky
They used to belong to the
Boston Strangler who offed them
Just as things got climaxing!!!

I'm a teenage Frankenstein—
I can't cruise in the day—
I gotta cruise at night
Stay in the shadows—
Are my shoulders too wide?

Is my joint screwed on tight?
I'm a teenage Frankenstein—
These aren’t my words and
This movie isn’t mine either

I'm a teenage Frankenstein—
Nude in Physique Pictorial
Built like a rude Adonis—

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