Saturday, August 8, 2009

It Conquered the World (1956)

It Conquered the World (1956)

“Don’t let your
imagination bring
it to life, darling”
—Beverley Garland,
It Conquered the World

Lee Van Cleef—let’s her see it
There’s an—exquisite cheesiness to
Cleef’s fanged—cucumber creature
Its slimy rubbery skin—so malevolent

She should have known—after finding
A bat in the toilet—he’d been taken
Over by the Venusian douchebag—
Turning him into—a Grade-B movie

Like Roger Corman cult classics?
Full of clichés—about alien takeovers?
Lee Van Cleef—certainly does the trick
His Venusian monster—so demanding

His X-penis arrives—from outer space
On loan from—Godzilla v. Monster Zero
It attaches itself—to Cleef’s anatomy
Talk about Invasion of the Dick Snatchers

It has a huge head—with erect quivering
Antennae sticking out—silly like the
Mutant man in—The Day the World Ended
John Agar—as Zontar, Thing from Venus

But it’s Cleef playing—the gangster Fante
That really showcases him—as Earl Holliman’s
Lover Mingo—henchmen for Richard Conte
Cleef’s sneaky weaselly—male sinuosities!!!

Their job is to—keep the combo going
By keeping an eye out—on Conte’s cute
Girlfriend Jean Wallace—whose into noir
Bondage and deliverance—very kinky

Handsome detective—Cornel Wilde
Falls in love with Wallace—pursues the
Evil combo mastermind—as he kills off
Fante and Mingo—and everybody else

Gangster film noir—about takeovers
Not that different than—alien sci-fi
Usurpation of Earth—by Venusians
Fifties paranoia—Hollywood dystopia

It Conquered the World—it conquers me
Cleef’s incredibly unearthly—alien beauty
Talk about the Good, the Bad, the Ugly
Never has Ugliness—been so exquisite!!!

Only Roger Corman—could truly explore
The horrific implications—of an evil vegetable!
A mad zucchini from Venus—with crab claws!
A pointy-headed turnip—in a zoot suit!!!

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