Interview with a Werewolf

Interview with a Werewolf

“wolf’s lair
better beware”
—Carol Ann Duffy
“Little Red-Cap,”
The World’s Wife

Bissell: What’s it like? Being a teenage—werewolf? Being human—one minute? And then being—Wolfboy?

Wolfboy: I don’t know…I don’t really—want to know. I don’t want—to remember I hurt when I—think about it

Bissell: That’s okay we don’t have—to talk about it. What do you want—to talk about? Girls—sex in the gymnasium?

Wolfboy: [Silence]

Bissell: I know kid…being bi-polar—is hard I know—I used to be young—but you’re—young & beautiful

Wolfboy: [Silence]

Bissell: Being “bi” isn’t easy—like being a—teenage werewolf. There’s a problem—you enjoy it. It’s being Human—that’s the Pits.

Wolfboy: [Silence]

Bissell: Yes, being Wolfboy—that’s what you are—a Wolfboy—being merely human—that’s the thing—how can you like being human—after being Wolf?

Wolfboy: That’s right…Being a wolf isn’t what’s horrible. It’s being human again—that’s the awful part—I hate being human…

Bissell: Being human is crummy—it’s not the only way to live though. Remember—being Wolfboy means—all your senses—they’re alert and alive!!!

Wolfboy: When I’m Wolfboy—all the way Wolf—and not human—then I’m like Lon Chaney Jr. tiptoeing through—the moonlight—I dig it!!! That’s when I’m—Bela Lugosi the Fortune teller—Gypsy vagabond always on the move—along with Maria Ouspenskya—my mother of the wolves. When I’m Wolfboy—that’s when the Forest—has a thousand ears. And the River—a million eyes. And the Darkness—a Voice.......

Bissell: What about Landon? When you’re Michael Landon—the troubled hot-tempered cute LA teenager—you like trouble?

Wolfboy: I don’t prowl for it. Trouble prowls for me—I’m game. Just a plaything—Trouble trumps everything. Troubling moods rule me—it’s a state of wolf mind… Like when Lon Chaney—kills Bela. Once-bitten—that’s when Trouble begins. Becomes a way of life—death. See my palm—the Pentagram?

Bissell: Death hypnotizes you?

Wolfboy: Yeah. It drives me nuts.

Bissell: Bright lights—loud music?

Wolfboy: Yeah, that’s what really—pisses me off fast. Makes me jumpy—turns me into a Werewolf—hungry for instant revenge on anything.

Bissell: Wagner and I like to hypnotize you—in the nude. Strapped down—on a table. You’re so—hot-tempered…

Wolfboy: Being wolf is a wet-dream

Bissell: So when Wagner & I hypnotize & age regress you? That’s like being—deep inside a Lucid Dream?

Wolfboy: Yeah

Bissell: And when Wagner & I inject you with drugs? When we strap—you down On a stainless steel table…

Wolfboy: [Silence]

Bissell: Like in morgues?

Wolfboy: Yeah

Bissell: So it’s like—being dead—except you’re alive lying there—turned on?

Wolfboy: [Silence]

Bissell: Tell me about it The Land of Death—what’s it’s like? Some weird—kind of dream? A long time ago—faraway? Or super in the Now?

Wolfboy: Yeah

Bissell: So that’s where you do your—Lon Chaney Thing. In a Land of Gypsy Time—caravans journeying thru—Transylvania & the Balkans?

Wolfboy: [Silence]

Bissell: Are you always nude? Do you dream about—slinking thru The Black Forest—in the moonlight without clothes? Like Bella & Lon—the Wolf Men?

Wolfboy: [Silence]

Bissell: Why did you bite Wagner? There in—the laboratory last night? Did something happen—before he could strap you down—on the table?

Wolfboy: Yeah, the telephone rang. It was too loud—for my wolf ears. The same with—the bell in the gym. It drove me mad—homicidal for love.

Bissell: That’s why you’re hiding? Talking to me—on your cell-phone…It’s easier on your ears—your psyche? No loud noises—no silver bullets?

Wolfboy: [Silence]

Bissell: So you’re—really Wolfboy—now? You don’t need hypnosis—or drugs—bells or whistles?

Wolfboy: [Silence]

Bissell: No bells at school—no telephones ringing—no way to trigger Terrible Werewolfery—Teenage Lycanthropic Regression?

Wolfboy: Teenage what? Like I said—I don’t remember anything. I’m in love with—the Moonlight and Midnight howling. I like to eat out—Evelyn Ankers

Bissell: [Silence]

Wolfboy: In fact you kinda—remind me of—Evelyn Ankers. She’s my favorite—Scream Queen. Ever saw her in—Son of Dracula?

Bissell: Yes, Wolfboy. That movie with—Lon Chaney Jr as Count Alucard—Dracula spelled backwards—Louisiana plantations—swamp vampire love…

Wolfboy: Yeah, that’s the one. With Louise Allbritton—as Bride of Dracula—dead heiress to the Family fortune—lovely swamp quickies—bayou love

Bissell: Yes, that neat scene where Dracula—glides thru the Swamp above the ghostly fog. To meet Louise—waiting for him on the bank.

Wolfboy: It came out in 1943—the year I was born—back when Hollywood came out with all those Grade-B—horror classics.

Bissell: So you like movies? Movie theaters—flicks in the dark? You like to dream—dream you’re wolfboy. Hollywood Horror—that lovely noir world?

Wolfboy: [Smiles]

Bissell: I can see why. Easier on your eyes—late at night. The full moon—much to bright. Staying inside—the silver screen…

Wolfboy: [Silence]

Bissell: Yes, I hate sunlight too—I stay inside during the day. I used to live by Half Moon Bay—the lazy light of the Pacific Ocean—luxurious lunar undertows

Wolfboy: [Silence]

[Bissell—speculates to himself on Greek semantics—playing a role in Wolfboy’s fatal relationships with the Full Moon—Teen Werewolfery… The coining of—certain names. For example—Greek mē "not" and Phōs "light"—philos "lover" suggesting—"not a lover of light"—parody of Lucifer—"light-bearer"—common Satan epithet—so that the original mephoto—to mephist Latin mephitis—"pungent"—Phosto "Faust"—yielding "Not Faust-loving"—Hebrew Mephistoph—“Destroyer—of The Good"—Mephiz "liar"—tophel “destroyer”—Lycanthropy and Light (moonlight)—Wolfboy—and werewolf movies—Mephistopheles—the Dark Double Wolfboy—and savage doppelganger]

Wolfboy: [Silence]