Translating California (2009)

Translating California (2009)

“…and much of the poetry,
alas, is lost in translation”
—Carol Ann Duffy, “Translating
the English, 1989,” The Other Country

Welcome to California! You'll love Hollywood!!!
Edwina Schwarzenegger—and Robin Hood!!!
The weather is sunny—despite the smoggy shit
Especially in May—cold-blooded Mormons love it!!!

You'll love Norma Desmond—what a fucking dame!!!
Talk about Sunset Boulevard—kept men so tame!!!
Dead bodies in swimming pools—like William Holden
Floating face-downwards—still quite glib and golden!!!

Just the other day—I gawked in rapt wonder
Tricky Dick Nixon—and Ronnie Reagan’s plunder
Doing crack, smack—and Carling Black Label
All the windbags—the Supremes with their Fable

Just think my dears—about the Rich and Famous
Their Perks and Ponzi deals—yet still they blame us
California State is going down—what the fuck!!!
Maybe they’ll bail us out too—with a little luck?

The Mormon Mob (52%)—rules the West Coast
We’re not going to let—the Homosexuals boast
There’s not enough left—for all us Honky Heteros
Let them eat cake—the queers, dykes & metro’s
.
Welcome to California—Hollywood Babylon Boy!!!
Where men like Tarzan—swing from vines so coy
Where a woman like Jane—never complains
Lovely Tree Houses—up & down suburban lanes

After all the Good Book—says it’s true, my dear
It was Adam & Steve—Eve & Queen Guinevere
Who gave the world—such Ecumenical Hope
Even though broke—we’ll simply tax dope!!!

We’ll ditch the—poor, Hispanics & the queers
That way surely we’ll—quell all our awful fears
We’ll stand proud & true—for Jaysus Inc!!!
Welcome to California—get here before we sink!!!