Real Gay Housewives Episode One



“Resistance is futile, my dears. 
Almost everyone with a television 
has sampled from the deliciously 
naughty snack bar that is today’s
tacky gay reality television.”
—Geraldine de Jabberway
The New York Times (Fashion) 

At first I refused to watch—
based on my misguided queenly
so-called faggy cultural snobbery

But I’m simply a sucker—
For trashy kitschy tres campy
Melodramatic gay Soap Operas

So after ogling the first—
Episode of “Real Gay Housewives”
I felt my gay psyche pulsating madly

I felt like Huck Finn getting it on—
With Jim on the American Raft of
Lost and Gone Innocence once again

“C’mon, Huck, honey, get your—
Skinny white trash ass back on de
Raft again, baby, I need ya bad!!!”

Good news, for Huck, Jim and me—
I found my Lost Innocence returning
Once again to jaded old Queen me…

I'm not being snarky or sarcastic—
After all, my dears, I’m still a great
Fan of dishy “Desperate Housewives.”

Just look at “Real Gay Housewives”—
Such puffy pouty Botux lips, those diva
Flipping, surgically-buoyed breasts!!!

Their lovely look-alike Drag Queen faces—
Like a row of Andy Warhol's Campbell's 
Soup cans and multi-colored Marilyns!!!

“Real Gay Housewives” is fun to watch—
whether trying to out-flambé each other or
edgy fashion queens out-draping them all

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