TWINK
CARNIVAL BREEZE
HUMBERT HUMBERT
JOHNNY JIZZ
BARGAIN TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
TRAMP STEAMER
DOWN SOUTH AMERICA WAY
LADY IN THE TUTTI FRUTTI HAT
THAT NIGHT IN RIO
HEART OF DARKNESS
_______________
CARNIVAL BREEZE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Otv8UppO2Uk
“Imagine the fun
I could soon have
chaperoning one!”
—Alissa Nutting,
TAMPA
______________
“Ever Considered a Cruise? –
Here’s Why You Should Think Again
a Luxury Cruise is One of Life’s Pure Joys.”
The seductive Advertisement—
naturally or rather unnaturally
caught Charlotte's ogling eye
__________
Right then and there—
the daring Humbert Humbert's
poor suffering wife decided
She’d sign up for a cruise—
with the trashy Carnival Breeze
chaperoning her lovey-dove
_____________
It had unmatched amenities—
and entertainment for adults and
chicken alike, simply Heaven!!!
A sophisticated Cloud 9 Spa—
& resort-style pool, its Internet cafe
even a miniature golf course!!!
____________
Water-Works aqua park, plus bars—
swank lounges, music & dance venues
throughout the vessel all day and night
Looking for some solitude? Adults on—
board can also escape to Serenity, special
adults-only retreat, room for chicken
_______________
Yes, today’s modern Cruise Liners—
simply engineering marvels, floating 5-star
Hotels offering the best service, cuisine
Exotic locales, with non-stop relaxation—
for those looking for male stimulation
depending on your pleasure, my dears
____________
Over the past few years, cruise companies—
have spared no expense, literally investing
billions for these jaw-dropping super ships
It was then that Charlotte made her move—
picking Johnnie Jizz* to chaperone for her
First Caribbean Carnival Breeze blowjob!!!
____________
* Johnnie Jizz aka Charlie, Lolita’s first lover,
boy in summer camp played by Colin Maitland
______________
HUMBERT HUMBERT
“Did you gobble up—
GONE GIRL & THE DINNER
Despite the fact that all
The characters have the
Soul of a black widow spider?”
—A Letter from the Editor
TAMPA
____________
Forget Humbert, honey—
James Mason doing Sue
Lyon’s cute teen toenails
Forget Shelly Winters—
hysterically playing the
LOLITA Mommy Dearest
___________
Yes, forget Sue Lyon—
doing the hula-hoop in
front of ogling Miss Mason
Pretend instead you’re—
Charlotte, a widowed wimpy
& sexually famished woman
_________
Doing a Caribbean cruise—
the lovely Carnival Breeze
Cruise-Ship during a jaunt
A chic juicy jizzy Jaunt—
with Lolita’s summer camp
Teenage Justin Bieber!!!
_______________
JOHNNY JIZZ
"much, much more."
—Vladimir Nabokov, Ada
_________
As a born actress, Charlotte—
instinctively understood that the
world was more than a stage…
it was an Audience
The San Francisco Bay Area—
was a playpen of countercultures
and the boyz that grew up in
SF were wise to the world
________
It’s like an old friend who calls—
whenever he’s in town, Charlotte
glad to hear from them, fanning the
embers of past intimacies, buys lunch
Charlotte’s reserve of disdain—
appeared endless. She could no sooner
shut it off than a Dracula vampire
could forgo a juicy nightcap
______________
She practiced what has come to be
known as gonzo-girl journalism, often
intoxicated, doing the story as stylishly
bizarre account mocking str8t novelists
She said she was "in" psychoanalysis—
meaning she was committed to a long
immersion writing her own tacky juicy
autobiography of fantasy lies & lives
_____________
No one has ever done anything—
too bad to be forgiven except for evil
Charlotte was an able practitioner of
not so glamorous Lolita-boy glitz lit
Her novel flew like Zeno's—
paradoxical arrow, perhaps this
was Nabokov's metaphor for the
inexhaustible magic of memory
___________________
BARGAIN TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
“Even if you’ve cruised before,
you probably have not experienced
anything like these new marvels!!!”
—Carnival Breeze advertisement
____________
But, the best news was that due—
to the slowdown in travel caused by
the recession & significant overcapacity
in the industry, it’s a great time for
Savvy travelers to book their own—
once-in-a-lifetime cruises at insanely
low prices, like 80 percent off the brochure
price, believe it or not, it's possible!!!
______________
Vacations To Go, one of America's largest—
Cruise Agencies, founded more than 25
years ago, helping to realize taking a cruise
vacation as a new experience for everybody
This year, everyone is cruising—
and for good reason after several years of
austerity, people are realizing now that cruise
vacations are one of the great values in travel
_________________
And so Charlotte browsed thru—
brochures of top-brand cruise vacations with
in-depth information about every cruise line
cruise ship, comparing prices at a glance
That’s how she ended up on the—
beat-up, rundown, slow Tramp Steamer
CARNIVAL CRUISE along with her cute
little tramp Justin Bieber for their trip
___________________
TRAMP STEAMER
“a tramp steamer from
Swansea to Para in the Brazils”
"Mr. H. M. Tomlinson," London
Mercury Vol 16 # 94 August 1927
_____________
Nothing now is left remarkable—
except the flatness of the world with
curiosity now destroyed fatiguing
us with what’s left: the familiar
The advertisements, recently made—
for Pleasure Cruises being ready to take
Charlotte Haze a thousand miles up the
Amazon into the heart of South America
_________________
Appealing to Charlotte’s sense of—
Of adventure, penetrating so deeply into
the very heart of the obscure with its hosts
of wingless guardians of the Great Mystery
With nothing more than her ticket—
and her chaperoned boyfriend Justin Bieber
to comfort her in darkness of the watery jungle,
and listless throngs of young erect Indians
____________
Charlotte fingered her diaries & thought—
staring far down into the water, last year at
Dieppe, last month at Wimbledon, last week
at dreary dearie tres boring London Pavilion
It was not this that made Charlotte Haze—
take her journey, nor in this spirit that she
recorded it in TEEN, her latest novel with its
scandalous tid-bits about LOLITA boylove
____________
She reveals himself in this narrative—
without being aware (I am sure) how much
of herself she is revealing & indeed without
greatly caring, nothing wonderful happens
Everything that happens serves to—
reflect her image in motion and the cheap
events and minor revelations referring to
her contacts with rather dull, dumb Justin
________________
Few writers have less invention but—
few have a better imagination, seeing things
as poets do, in imaginative light, not parts
but as wholes, not rationally but by intuition
And even as she looks she’s thinking of—
something else through which, in a moment,
she is gazing steadily, fondly & faithfully until
the visible is charged with the invisible
DOWN SOUTH AMERICA WAY
"You is a low down,
no good ham!"
—Carmen Miranda
THAT NIGHT IN RIO
____________________
But to write thus of Charlotte Haze—
& her Lolita boyfriend is to begin at the end
as if the Carnival Breeze was on a trashy
Journey into the Heart of Darkness
The voyage of a tacky tramp steamer—
from Swansea to Para in the Brazils, then
two thousand miles between the forests
of the Amazon and the Madeira
_____________
Charlotte’s story published here, there—
everywhere and nowhere, but rather a sort
grab-bag of stories, flotsam, debris, waves
moving the way a tide moves up and down
She presents her life as a musical—
an escape from New York, a casual felicitous
escape from the New Yorker, the Village Voice,
the crowds, streets, winter, big city life
______________
She sees her herself as Carmen Miranda—
Singing in THAT NIGHT IN RIO (1941)
“I, Yi, Yi, Yi, Yi (I Like You Very Much)”
her grand South American adventure
Down into the homeless tropical world—
an unhurried return to all that we’ve fled
from, appeasing our “lust” of travel which
all the cultured are supposed to share
__________________
Which means no more than an appetite—
for something to keep them from thinking
closely and feeling sharply about themselves
and all the mistakes they’ve left behind
But there was Charlotte on the deck—
doing her tacky Tramp Steamer kitschy
renditions of Chica Chica Boom Chic,
Mamãe Eu Quero, Cai Cai & Boa Noite
LADY IN THE TUTTI FRUTTI HAT
“I wonder why does
ev'rybody look at me”
—Carmen Miranda
THE GANGS ALL HERE
_____________________
The Lady in the Tutti-Frutti Hat—
some people say she dress too gay,
but ev'ry day, she feel so gay
she be so gay, she dress that way
Is something wrong with that—
Americanos tell her her hat be too high,
because I won’t take it off to kiss a guy
But if I ever start to take it off, ay, ay!
_______________
I do that once for Justin Bieber—
but he wasn’t very happy with just
that the Lady in the Tutti-Frutti Hat
he wanted lots more than just that!
You hear a lot of people saying—
"There she goes!” You see a señorita
dressed in flashy clothes, everybody
in Rio de Janeiro, ev'rybody knows
_____________
The lady in the tutti-frutti hat—
when she begins to sing a song in
Portuguese, the temp'rature goes up
a hundred more degrees, oh baby!
_____________
The lady in the tutti-frutti hat—
when she begins to sing a song in
Portuguese, the temp'rature goes up
a hundred more degrees, oh baby!
She always has a half a dozen Romeos—
and when they come to sing a serenade,
she throws a banana like you throw a rose
but they want more than that, honey!
THAT NIGHT IN RIO
“Have a rendezvous with
music and gaiety!!!
A Magnificent musical
extravaganza comes
to the screen!!!
_________________
Charlotte travels because she is by—
nature a dreamer, she sings because she’s
by circumstance a Mexican schlock queen
her mind full of ersatz hoity-toity culture
Her tacky dreams recur & stimulate her—
again & again to fresh journeys, the breath
of musicals breathes new life into old images
she sees new images, like figures in smoke
___________
She comes back to her early romantic—
girlhood's memories, her favorite LA divas
like Carmen Miranda in THAT NIGHT IN RIO
singing I, Yi, Yi, Yi, Yi (I Like You Very Much)
I yi yi yi—
I yi yi yi yi yi yi
I yi yi yi yi I like you very much
I yi yi yi yi I think your grand
__________
Why why why is it that—
when I feel your touch
my heart starts to beat
the Beat the Band!?!
I yi yi yi hold me tight—
You’re too too too too Divine
if you want to be in someone's
arms tonight let them be mine!!!
______________
I like your lips—
and I like your eyes
do you like my hips
The way they hypnotize?
See see see see see—
the moon above
way way way way way up
in the blue?
______________
Si si seniorita I think—
I fall in love with you
and when I fall I think
I fall for you
I yi yi yi si si si—
I yi yi yi can you
see see see that
you're for me?
HEART OF DARKNESS
“something candid in his stare
at strange things, looking at them—
familiar enough to others—as though
no one had ever seen them before”
—John Freeman, “Critical Essay,”
SOURCE: "Mr. H. M. Tomlinson,"
London Mercury, Vol. 16, No. 94,
August, 1927, pp. 400-08
http://www.bookrags.com/criticism/h-m-tomlinson-1873-1958/4/
________________
Yet there is nothing dreamlike—
the way she tells it, and perhaps her best
prose is given to sharp, clear & simple
telling of simple matters aboard the steamer
The rust of an anchor, the coldness of seas—
the unexpectedness of stairs and passages
in rough weather, these and a hundred other
things she writes like a dizzy Charlotte Haze
______________________
Can you imagine Shelley Winters—
butching it up & not be simply hysterical,
being businesslike, reading Miss Mason’s
secret salacious sexy seductive diary?
Calling her a cow, proclaiming his love—
his incorrigible desires for his very own
(adopted) daughter Lolita, doing her pert
little twink pussy in bed with him?
_________________
But Charlotte Haze could write if she—
had to, the tramp steamer a harsh and
foreign thing, unfriendly to the eye, hard
to understand, but she learned to know
To accept her own faults & be ready for—
any change for she too like Miss Mason had
her own secret desires & pleasures for love
twink Lolitaesque male chicken desires!!!
________________
She’d follow him from port to starboard—
getting him off amidship, in the doorways
opening out under the shade of boat decks
the sluggish green fetid Gulf of Mexico
There in the Chief's cabin & the galley—
the engineers' messroom, the engine-room,
aft alleyways running across ship joining
the side alleyways, oh baby, baby!!!
_______________
Forward of these cabins the throbbing—
engine-room where the 'midship deck broadens,
but is cumbered with bunker hatches (mind your
meat at night, there); and beyond, again…
The chart-room & over the chart-room—
the bridge and the wheel-house, the sheer
long drop to the main deck forward, the deck
an iron wall, with its dark entrance
To the mysterious forecastle in its centre—
and over that the uplifted head of our world
watching our course, bleak windswept place
of rails, cable chains, and windlass
The poop with its timber deck—
and there in fine weather the deck chairs are
the poop a place needing exact navigation
at night rudder chains either side of it
_____________
In the centre the saloon sky-light—
the companion, the steward's ice-chest,
and the hand-steering gear & two boats
and twink sailorboyz who couldn’t sleep
She gained her night knowledge—
of the poop deck by assault, licking her lips
with seaman’s semen, really proud of the
privilege to know the rolling shadow night
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