FIRST LADY: Book Review
First Lady (Kindle Edition)
by Centino Kemp & T. Benson Glover
Well, my dears, I stayed up last night & read the ultra trashy tell-all "First Lady."
What a Queen Bee naughty little Diva. Something to rival even the esteemed Showman Rev. Eddie Long. Contessa Kemp and her co-writer—they mercilessly Read the Beads and Drag it All de Way Out, honey.
It be okay, girl, to dump a couple of str8t black studs outta your bed every once in awhile after you get tired of them and then go on to the next cute young black thing available....
But mercy, girl—don't ever dump a queen bee diva like Miss Kemp 'cause she be the worst kinda perfectly Pissed Off Woman Scorned to get on your fuckin case, honey. Watch out, girl! Stand back!! She be Bad Trouble!!!
Contessa Kemp goes on & on. I don't know who's fuckin worse: the Good cocksuckin Reverend Eddie Long or the ditched diva queen bee Contessa Kemp.
Miss Kemp settled for $100,000. In fact, her entry into the lawsuit that was at the settlement stage was crucial for the other young black men to get a nice slice of the pie. But apparently, Miss Kemp... she be greedy for more.
Somebody (lawyers, publishers, entrepreneurs, Hollywood Confidential, National Enquirer?) smelling dirt—convinced her to launch her new music-modeling-literary career based by spilling the beans all the way on the fine upstanding Black Queer Ministry there in Atlanta.
Oh, my oh my—does Miss Kemp read de beads, honey. Like how ugly Rev. Long's wife be... when compared with Miss Kemp’s stylish expensive kept-boy coiffure & high-class boutique fashion!!!
And how Miss Kemp be the one & only true darling "First Lady"—at least that’s what the good Reverend says during their tricky trysts kept hidden secretly in escorted limos & classy condos across the country.
Unfortunately, Eddie the Dinge Queen… he done ditched his First Lady. He got seduced by a series of cute young rough trade numbers right up his alley. But unfortunately, they got chilled after being sucked off and not paid enough for their seminal services.
What makes "First Lady" so revealing and exquisitely tacky...is that none of de str8t numbers could possibly tell this whole Holy Roller Sex Story in such tacky juicy lurid details as Miss Kemp and her so-very-helpful co-authoress T. Benson Glover do in this tell-all True Confessions scandalous quagmire of queer Rihanna racy raunchy ravings.
Yes, it's simply breathtaking, my dears. How all these archetypal Black Angels, these simply fabulous "Elmer Gantry" Evangelicals do flaunt it and be gettin down & rich quick.... only to fuck up like Jimmy Swaggart getting caught with a whore in a New Orleans motel parking lot & then losing his huge Congregation along with his much anticipated so-called holy roller University now rotting in ruins out there in the Louisiana bayou boonies.
Yes, my dears, just like with Jimmy Swaggart, it now seems de good Lawd has just about been as equally scandalized and shamed by de simply shameless "high roller" shenanigans of de latest "Holly Roller" Man of God to fall from Heavenly Grace... de handsome vain butchy muscular good Reverend Eddie Long of Atlanta, Georgia—de Sodom & Gomorrah of de Deep South!!!!!!!!!!!
The great Southern Black Church Community be simply SHOCKED, my dears, having been so deceitfully deceived and haughtily hoodwinked by such a smooth-talkin suave sophisticated Devil up there in the Pulpit as Reverend Eddie Long!!!!
The one good thing in this whole shocking Religious Wake Up Call for all of us—is that surely the Black Religious Community will now come to its holier-than-thou homophobic heterosexist senses, Halleluiah brothers & sisters!!!
That indeed, my dears, the Southern Black Religious Community will finally reach out and forgive the good Reverend Eddie Long for his various & sundry Homosexual Sins and Queer Transgressions!!!
Not only Forgive the good Reverend Long....
But also Embrace de Black Homosexual Community as well—which up until now the str8t Black Religious Community has been totally against. GLBT black folks have been demonized as tragically Taboo and Forbidden Creatures of the Night by certain overzealous unforgiving Black Leaders.
It’s time now not only for GLBT marriage—but also for leaders like Eldridge Cleaver, Toni Morrison, W.E.B DuBois, Amiri Baraka (AKA Leroy Jones), Haki Madhubuti and Minister Farrakhan to finally lovingly embrace their gay black brothers and sisters…
Once upon a time—interracial marriage wasn’t permitted in the United States of America. And one’s inheritance rights were based on—how many drops of your proud African-American blood be running through your precious whitey veins.
So how can those who can now interracially marry—say “No!!!” to those of us who want to be permitted to marry the same way? To be proud GLBT American loving couples—protected by the same rights & rules as everybody else?