Friday, December 21, 2012

Behind the State Capitol


“Attic coiffure 
supreme Parisien 
—John Wieners, 
“Maria  Gouverneur” 
Behind the State Capitol

Inviolate rotten mausoleum—
Still guarding the Huey P. Long tomb

Tall art deco streamline moderne—
Louisiana State Capitol skyscraper

Standing there with massive strength—
With all his volitional will to endure

The same twisted upward genius—
Joining Quentin, Bon and me

Channeling Bon the Beautiful—
Feeling his octoroon cumly power 

This is how we soiree the Dead—
Like Faulkner in Absalom, Absalom

“deliberate flagellant exhalations 
of physical misery transmogrified
into the two young men”
—William Faulkner, Absalom, Absalom

I felt dead at LSU back in 1963—
And I wanted to get deeper into it

The séances young Quentin Compson—
And Shreve McCannon had back then

With those two young Mississippi boys—
All those morose Southern years ago

Henry Sutpen and Bon the Beautiful—
In the Ole Miss dorm bed together

Doing what their glands insisted—
Whether by God or the Devil himself

Mindless sentiment undreaming without—
Knowing neither despair or victory

The grooved habit to endure through—
Colonel Sutton’s curse & the Civil War 

“did I swing in downtown bistros
 as a black girl, what would my 
ancestors say, even in Africa 
I was punished” —John Wieners, 
“To Billie Holiday’s If Were You,” 
Behind the State Capitol

I was a White man’s son but—
My mother was near-white mulatto

She was a pretty Southern girl and—
Gave me her secret black birthmark

My penis was big and jet-blank—
The rest of me the usual white boy

I had her red hair and pubes—
But something more primitive too

My birthmark was a taboo tattoo—
I hid it, didn’t let anybody see it

It was my dinge mulatto sin—
Negro blood flowing through me

“I don’t know any thing 
about being a man”
—John Wieners, “White Slavery” 
Behind the State Capitol

I was beating off in bed once—
In the Balmer Hall dormitory

Just as I was really losing it—
My roommate came in & saw me

I couldn’t help it coming—
Squirting my fucking brains out

I quickly moped up the mess—
And went to take a shower

I heard my roommate whispering—
Excitedly to the rest of the guys

“Jesus Christ, he’s got a big nigger dick”—
From then on they all shunned me

They’d never seen a 12” black penis—
Not on a white guy like me anyway

“The Queen can grant no 
mercy, no clemency”
—John Wieners, “Necromancy” 
Behind the State Capitol

It was pretty embarrassing for me—
I had to move outta the dormitory

LSU wasn’t into desegregation yet—
My African-American dick was taboo

I started living & tricking off-campus—
A dumpy apartment on Chimes Street

All the hippies, druggies & drop-outs—
Lived down there in Tiger Town

Down the street from the Varsity—
By the North Gate on Highland

Pretty soon I had black boyfriends—
“You’re a dinge white boy!” they smirked

“”we can sing our songs of
love like my black mama” 
—John Wieners, “A poem  for
cocksuckers,” The Hotel 
Wentley Poems

The more young black dick I sucked—
The more I needed it really bad

I dropped out for a semester—
The nights were humid and sullen

I was 18 and still a freshman—
I could feel male changes in me

I lived with a young black waiter—
And his young kid brother back then

The more I got them off at night—
The bigger & blacker my dick got

It was that old black magic, baby—
Hoodoo Voodoo deep inside me

Seduced by jets of jungle jizz—
Snaked by Kurtz’s Heart of Darkness

The more William Faulkner I read—
The more Dinge Queen I became

“I exist for your kiss”
—John Wieners, “To Sink Love” 
Behind the State Capitol

I ended up like Henry Sutpen deeply—
In love with Bon the Beautiful at Ole Miss

Bon my mulatto prince half-brother—
True heir to Sutpen Hundred Plantation

I gulped it all down as much as I could—
Yoknapatawpha turgid thick manhood

I wanted to become Bon the Beautiful—
I was desperately in love with dinge guys

I wanted to know the Deep South deep—
All the way to Bon the Beautiful’s whimper  

I was queerer than Quentin at Harvard—
I was queerer than Henry at Ole Miss

Slowly but surely day after day—
I became a queer English Major

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