Monday, August 23, 2010

Dead Planet XXVI

Dead Planet XXVI

“Memory is identity”
—John C. Wright, Null-A Continuum:
Continuing A. E. van Vogt’s World
of Null-A

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “Do you ever think about suicide, Deckard?”

Rick: “Me, I don't believe in it.”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “Your droid-buddy is a murderer and a thief.”

Rick: “That's a lie. I know he didn't kill Tyrell.”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “Let me tell you something else. It's a minor crime, to kill a Lizard. The major crime is stealing somebody’s money. Your friend stole my money—and the penalty for that is capital punishment.”

Rick: “What money?”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “Who were the three DiMaggio brothers?”

Rick: “Vince, Dom, and, uh, Joe?”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “Joltin' Joe, yeah.”

[Augustine pulls out a $5000 bill from Rick's vest pocket]

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “What's this?”

Rick: “A picture of James Madison.”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “It's a $5000 bill.”

Rick: “I know.”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “Where'd you get this?”

Rick: “A box of crackerjacks, came as a prize.”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “Yeah, right.”

Rick: “Nobody cares but me.”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “Well that's where you’re wrong, Deckard. You'll never learn, you're a born loser.”

Rick: “Yeah, I even lost my dick.”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “Excuse me, I don't see any dicks around here. Except you, Deckard.”

Rick: “I’m a retired dick, Marty.”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “Could you spell that?

Rick: “L… A… P… D… Retired Dick, hmm Marty?”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “Oh, we're all outta that one around here. No more LA. No more Earth. Why don't you wise up, Rick. None of that means shit out here—it’s the Lizard Belt now. We deal with those guyz now—not Tyrell & TerraCorp anymore either… They’re history, now…”

Rick: “You don't happen to know that for sure, do ya Marty?”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “What do I need a private dick for, Deckard? I've got a girl.”

Rick: “Ha, ha. He's got a girl, I’m just a dick.”

Marty “The Martian” Augustine: “Okay, wise guy. I do need a private dick. And you’re the only one around this joint. Come back tomorrow—and I’ve got a deal for you. I’ll make it worth your while, Deckard.”

Creepazoid Guard: “Oh. Hi, Mr. Deckard. Say, you're up kinda late.”

Rick: “Come on, lay it on me.”

Creepazoid Guard: “Okay. Let's see, I been doin’ this ‘Barbara Stanwyck’ routine, Mr. Deckard. I've been working on Barbara Stanwyck in “Sorry, Wrong Number.” It goes kinda like this…

[opening voice over]

[Prologue: “In the tangled networks of the New Great Lizard Empire, the vidscreen is the unseen link between a million lives... It’s the servant of our common needs ~~ the Confidante of our inmost exo-secrets... life and happiness wait upon its bluish shimmering screen... and horror... and loneliness... and... death!”]

[as Barbara Stanwyck]

Leona Stevenson: “Operator! Operator! Operator!”

Voice of Operator: “Your call please?”

Leona Stevenson: “Operator! Operator! Operator!”

[as Burt Lancaster]

Burt: “You can't live on dreams forever, Leona. Waiting only weakens you and your future. My advice, Leona is: "If you want something, get outta bed & do it now!"

Leona Stevenson: “Operator! Operator! Operator!”

Burt: [to Leona] Can you hear me, Leona? I want you to do something. I want you to get yourself out of the bed—and get over to the window and scream as loud as you can. Otherwise you only have another three minutes to live…”

Leona Stevenson: “Operator! I've been dialing Martian Hill 35097 for the last half hour—and the line is always busy. Will you connect me, please?”

Voice of Operator: “Sorry, Wrong Number.”

Rick: “Not bad, for a creep, Creepazoid. A little more feeling tho—like “What does a dame like you want with a Lizard like me? Get it, ha ha!!!”

Creepazoid Guard: “Thanks, Mr. Deckard. I’ll keep practicing on it.

Rick: “Okay, just remember that and you'll be alright.”

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