Friday, April 2, 2010

Nouveau Zyd Short Stories


Son of Dracula (1943)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv4y_Y0bKWo

—for Adeline De Walt Reynolds as Queen Zimba

You could hear it at night—the bayou swamp humming to itself out in the dark. The dark Louisiana swamp singing to itself… The whole bayou alive—vibrating in the humid swamp night. It was so eerie and scary…

Queen Zimba told me secrets—swamp-hum she called it… The swamp humming with life. It was so Grade B horror movie camp and atmospheric—Queen Zimba and her voodoo boyz rising from their coffins… Young vampires arise!!! Young Creole studs on the prowl!!!

Louise Allbritton as a plantation bride—who thirsts for Cajun boyz from the undead… Evelyn Ankers
alluring as usual playing her sister, a perfect role as Universal’s best Scream Queen… Lon Chaney Jr. brutal and drunk as usual—yet elegantly moody in his immaculate tuxedo as Count Dracula…

Allbritton in her flowing white robes seeking out—Queen Zimba in her little shack deep in the bayou swamp… Asking for her advice... The reading rudely interrupted—by a giant vampire bat swooping in and giving Zimba a fatal heart attack… So much for the "Madame Sosostris” tarot deck & tea-leaves treatment—the entrails of owls and all the usual tacky occult prognostications…

Distraught Allbritton flees the scene—barely escaping with her life, leaving Zimba to die back there… Poor Queen Zimba—Tarot cards scattered all over the dirt floor of her cabin… Poor Queen Zimba—face-down dying on top of her precious Ouija board on the table…

Count Dracula can’t stand it—he simply hates Carpathian competition or any lousy Gypsy interference… He wants Louise Allbritton badly all to himself—his beautiful companion and lover for centuries to come, him and his Vampire romantic partner flying off into the moonset…

Robert Paige—as the moody jilted fiancée of Louise, soon to be Madame Louise Alucard… Dark Oaks Plantation—getting darker and darker by the day and night with all these corrupted coffin queens! Why oh why is Louise so enamored—with Lon Chaney Jr. that puffy-faced old alcoholic bloodsucker? When Robert Paige is there—in all his All-American, s
traight-arrow butchy heterosexuality?

Robert Siodmak makes it—definitely Louisiana film noir, all that sultry Spanish moss… All those ancient, gnarled magnolias—all those run-down rotting old plantation mansions, all that Deep South decadence and fetid swamp-gas stinking up the night…

All those slithering alligators—all those pesky mosquitoes and prehistoric gar-fish creatures… It’s enough to make—your skin crawl and your ears start to hear things late at night deep in the swamp…

Queen Zimba knows or used to know—how things were out there in the mysterious bayou, where swamp-hum hummed and Spanish Moss draped the sorrows of the jilted broken heart… Where bad bayou boys—played poker all night long, smoking ju-ju joints, drinking Jax & cheating on their girlfriends…

Queen Zimba knows—she be the Swamp Queen forever, even though she’s dead… The Swamp hums Zydeco death and romance… Madame Zimba knows—Swamp Witch in my fav flick Son of Dracula (1943)… Love that scene where—Lon Chaney Jr. glides slowly thru swamp-gas darkness… Living-dead Louise Allbritton—waiting on the embankment for those suave Euro-Fangs…to sink deep into her pussy.

Poor Louise Allbritton, d
istraught Louisiana queen, mildewing in the wrong places…off she goes to see—Adeline DeWalt Reynolds for some tea-leaf advice… Clairvoyant fag-hags—where would we be without you? To guide us thru all the Evil Darkness… When Men-problems—plague us Ladies of the night, there on the lonely verandahs… When the bulging, gnarled, old
bougainvillea vines—groan in the pale moonlight and we crave something male and moody...
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When the blooming magnolias get suffocatingly sweet—when the honeysuckle sucks and nothing seems right… that’s when Madame Zimba knows all—and so does Maria Ouspenskaya… Dark Lady of the Wolfman Eternal Night…

Madame
Zimba can see into Future—she can delve deeply into the Past, palest delicate Pluperfect tenses are dime a dozen to her… The trick being imperceptible—sliding into the Zydeco Now without even noticing the Youtube flashback deluxe… Gaze into the Moment—all tenses are simply Illusionary, my dear… Present participles dangling like Spanish Moss from the looming cypresses, playing their delicate game of Creole Mardi Gras drag…

Lon Chaney Jr. be the ultimate Carpathian Prince Dracula—behold his dark tuxedo physique—he be born again!!! Even better—than Bela Lugosi!!! Dark Oaks—his sullen plantation abode, home of his wife to be—Louise Allbritton, plus her suspicious sister—Scream Queen Evelyn Ankers… He'll get them both and drain them dry, he's such a greedy bloodsucker...
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Take the wicked sun from our eyes—oh Lord!!! Give us the Swamp Moon Night high overhead!!! Bless the genius Curt Siodmak—Poet Director of supernatural Creole Cinema!!! As we glide through—bayou foggy darkness & humid swamp mist nights!!! Don’t let the deadly frightful Sun—rise over us and turn us to ashes!!!

Help poor Madame Zimba—and all the other Bayou Witches to resurrect themselves and come back from the Land of the Dead!!! Barbara Stanwyck, Gloria Swanson, Lana Turner—all those wonderful Hollywood Film Noir Femmes Fatales!!!

Help us to parody this crummy ho-hum daylight
life—so boring and desultory… With Grade B noir classics like—Double Indemnity!!! Sunset Boulevard!!! The Postman Always Rings Twice!!! Let the red velvet curtains—rise once again in those old funky Film Palaces!!!
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Give us roomy, spacious, dark upstairs balconies—anointed with sleek, shiny brass-railings, chic dimmed diamond chandeliers hanging from tall stucco rococo ceilings, art deco and Moorish classy interior decorating style and plush red velvet seats worthy of pampered matinee pashas and spoiled midnight show Halloween princes!!!

May Lon Chaney live forever!!! Rising from his Nouveau Zyd subterranean coffin—regal Transylvanian Prince of Darkness, in his elegant nightclub tuxedo, parting the bayou fog and swamp mist with his sleek,
swirling black cape…



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