The Stoned Raft

The Stoned Raft
—for Arnold Schwarzenegger

“On the southern shores,
at this tepid hour, there
is someone having one
last dip”—José Saramago
The Stone Raft

When Arnold Schwarzenegger—lit a joint
All of California levitated—upward for a moment
Not very much—only a few inches

But when Arnold—took another Toke
The whole State—of California quivered
Never before—had a Governor got so high

The more Arnold—smoked his joint
The more precarious—things got for CA
FOX-News reported—the West Coast gone

Going, going, gone—drifting slowly outward
From Sacramento—to San Francisco
From Los Angeles—to Mexico

The CA State Legislature—panicked
They passed a Resolution—immediately
Making CA a separate—sovereign Nation!!!

With the Hollywood flair—of The Terminator
Arnold legalized—dope, gay marriage and
Ordered Healthcare—for everybody there

Arnold took another toke—and they voted
Him as President—of the brand-new Land
They named it El Dorado—after Mexican Gold

Pretty soon the—offshore Kingdom of El
Ruled by the—Muscle Man with Total Recall
Became again—California USA #1

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