Failed Emporia Kansas Travelogue
And I do mean Failure—
Total complete unadulterated
Exquisitely kitschy FAILURE!!!
The bored driver takes us—
On a yawning, farting, smirking
Tour of the crummy little Cowtown
Just the way to look at it—
No pretty Pretense or Pretending
That Emporia Kansas is Lovely
It never was & never will be—
Despite dressing it up as a nice
Little innocent quiet college town
Stuck out in the stark middle—
Of Gothic Nowhere, plopped
Down like a sad old Cow Patty…
KA-SPLAT!!!! Watch out—
Where you step around here
You’ll get shit on your high-heels!!!
Calling Emporia grandiosely—
The Athens of the Midwest like
They used to way back when
When KSTC and C of E both—
Ruled the Chicken Coop and
Were Bastions of Enlightment!!!
Taking a hard left at the End of—
Dumpy Commercial Street with
All its close-out sales Businesses
Driving west under the fall leaves—
Past Maplewood Cemetery and
Beyond the drab Shopping Mall
Past Wal-Mart and KFC joints—
Acres of blacktop parking spaces
With a nice fond wave Goodbye!!!
Jeeze Lueez!!! That was a great—
Travelogue to see, maybe I’ll have
A beer and watch it ALL again!!!