Sunday, August 12, 2012

The Last Man on Earth

The Last Man
On Earth (1954)

“there's no
escape from
Vincent Price”
—Scott Heim
“The Death of
Vincent Price”

Bleak as Pasolini—
Kitschy as Sergio Leone
Decadent as Visconti

There’s no escape—
For the Vampire-Zombies
Of Living Dead Rome

Shots of dead bodies—
Strewn in the empty
Streets of the Roma

The alarm clock rings—
It’s morning once again
Time for Vincent to rise

“Another day” she says—
“Another day to live thru
Better get started”

Thus begins one—
of the most tacky horror
films of Vincent’s oeuvre

When a disease turns—
All of humanity into a
Nightmare of Living dead…

Much deader than usual—
Poor bored humans around
The putrid dead dying world

It becomes Vincent Price’s—
Stake-plunging Responsibility
To DeZombiefy the Planet

The Last Man on Earth—
Has to reluctantly become
Limp-Wristed Vampire Killer!!!

Yes, my dears, as Night falls—
The plague victims begin
Leaving their stinking graves

Crawling, shambling, limping—
Whimpering, pleading for blood
Throughout the empty streets

The Hellish Undead—
Zombies starved for blood
Thirsting for Vincent Price’s bod

The Last Gimpy Man on Earth—
Lisping, mincing his way thru
One of his most tacky movies

But this time Vincent won’t—
Escape the Living Dead!!!
Like in all those Poe Classics

Spectral Rome drained dry—
Ancient abandoned Sinful City
Stalked by greedy Bloodsuckers!!!

There’s no escape for Vincent—
“Vincent come on out now!!!”
Comes the Creepy Nightly Chant

Ubaldo Ragona directs this—
Classic Long before the American
Rotten cheap Hollywood version

Nobody can compare with—
Vincent Price, certainly not
Crummy Charlton Heston

The Omega Man version—
Stinks worse than the ugly
Cheap Zombie-Vampire Dead

The Last Man on Earth filmed—
In dismal black & white shots
Of decadent postwar Rome

Produced by the horror queen—
Samuel Z. Arkoff with a cast of
Millions of Unemployed Italians

The Zombie Cast reads like a—
Spaghetti Western with names
Like Franca Bettoia, Danieli,
Giacomo Rossi-Stuart, Umberto
Raho, Antonio Corevi, Ettore
Ribotta, Rolando De Rossi,
Giuseppe Mattei, De Fonseca,
Gen Ruggiero, Franca Silvi,
Giorgio Giovannini, Brunell…

Serena Ulloa, Angiolina
Menichelli, Piero Mecacci,
Linello Meucci, Vico Vaccaro,
Luciano Volpato, Carlo
Grandone, Enzo Silvestri,
Armando Timpani, Bruno
Zanoli, Alfonso Avincola,
Angelo Lannutti, Alvaro
Lanzoni, Renato Pedrini,
Federico Tocci, Carmen
Frosali, Alfonso D’Artega,
Rita Agostini, Franco Rispoli,
Ermete Santini, etc. etc.

And of course the great—
Hollywood Horror Queen
Vincenti De Pricella herself!!!

“December 1965? Is that all—
It’s been since I inherited the
world? Only three years!!!”

“Seems like 100 million—
You're freaks, all of you!
All of you, freaks, mutations!”

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