Kid Werewolf
.
Whit Bissell—the ultimate Mad Scientist
Star of the—most cheesy horror movie
“I Was a Teenage Werewolf”—pure trash
But the kind of trash—teen audiences like
White Trash Werewolves—Michael Landon
“I don’t want them to see me like this!!!”
Slaves of the Full Moon—wolfish types
Michael Landon—hot-headed delinquent
Just right—for Dr. Bissell’s hypnotherapy
Who wants to regress—Landon all the way
Back past—bourgeois WASP chickenhood
All the way back—20,000,000 years BC
After all—isn’t that where hot-blooded
Teenage werewolves like Michael Landon
Belong and feel at home—amongst the
Sleek man-eating Saber-tooth tigers—
Packs of huge savage howling wolves
Cold glaciers—moonlit terminal moraines?
But probably—that wouldn’t work now
Not for a goodlooking—young adolescent
Full moons wolfbane—no longer de rigueur
Cheesy Bissell needs—something better
Something more—Metrosexual moderne
Kid Werewolf—where are you?
Whit Bissell—the ultimate Mad Scientist
Star of the—most cheesy horror movie
“I Was a Teenage Werewolf”—pure trash
But the kind of trash—teen audiences like
White Trash Werewolves—Michael Landon
“I don’t want them to see me like this!!!”
Slaves of the Full Moon—wolfish types
Michael Landon—hot-headed delinquent
Just right—for Dr. Bissell’s hypnotherapy
Who wants to regress—Landon all the way
Back past—bourgeois WASP chickenhood
All the way back—20,000,000 years BC
After all—isn’t that where hot-blooded
Teenage werewolves like Michael Landon
Belong and feel at home—amongst the
Sleek man-eating Saber-tooth tigers—
Packs of huge savage howling wolves
Cold glaciers—moonlit terminal moraines?
But probably—that wouldn’t work now
Not for a goodlooking—young adolescent
Full moons wolfbane—no longer de rigueur
Cheesy Bissell needs—something better
Something more—Metrosexual moderne
Kid Werewolf—where are you?
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